3. Respite. Victims of trauma report that they have no respite from disturbing thoughts and unpleasant emotions. They are constantly plagued by them. People who suffer from stress, on the other hand, are usually capable of disconnecting from their thoughts, despite their worries, and engaging in relaxing and enjoyable activities such as watching television, spending time with their families or reading. Traumatic stress is the effect of overwhelming experiences on our bodies. What can be done to help? • You do not need highly specialised training to help traumatised people. What is most important is that you care and listen; • Listen to what the person is saying and let them speak freely to you. Do not ask: ‘Why did this happen?’ This makes a person feel as if they are to blame for what happened; and • Ask probing questions which begin with how, where and who in order to clarify the situation. Believe what the person is telling you and do not make promises that are impossible to keep, for example: ‘I’ll take you away from your husband who is beating you.’ Explore the available options with the person • The person may want to contact and speak to a trusted friend, relative or family member; • The person may want to report the incident to the police; and • The person may need to talk to a professional in order to obtain help with the healing process. Other ways to manage trauma • Do not isolate; • Do not withdraw from others; make an effort to maintain relationships and avoid spending time alone • Ask for support, talk about your feelings and ask for the help you need from a family member, friend, colleague or clergyman • Participate in social activities; do normal things with other people, things that are not related to the trauma • Join a support group to reduce the sense of isolation and to hear how others in the same situation cope • Stick to a daily routine with regular times • Break large jobs down into small, manageable tasks – take pleasure from the accomplishment of completing something, even if it is a small task • Find activities that make you feel better – keep your mind occupied so that you are not dedicating all your energy and attention to focusing on the traumatic experience • Allow yourself to feel what you feel when you feel it. Acknowledge your feelings about trauma as they arise and accept them. Accepting feelings is part of the grieving process and is necessary for healing • Take care of your health: get plenty of sleep – lack of sleep can make your symptoms worse and can make it harder to maintain your emotional balance. Aim for seven to nine hours of sleep • Avoid alcohol and drugs – they can worsen trauma symptoms and can exacerbate feelings of depression, anxiety and isolation • Exercise regularly – it boosts serotonin, endorphins and other feel-good brain chemicals. It also boosts self-esteem and improves sleep. Aim for 30 to 60 minutes of exercise • Eat a well-balanced diet – small, well-balanced, frequent meals will keep energy up and minimise mood swings. Foods rich in certain omega 3 fats (e.g. soya beans) can boost mood • Reduce stress – make time for rest and relaxation. 110 Community Healing: A training manual for Zimbabwe