Several child brides narrated various conflicts between them and their husbands and between
them and their in-laws. They described how difficult it was to resolve those conflicts because
their own families did not support them in times of conflict. Most child brides accused their
families of only being interested in material things which they got from the “mukwasha” (son-inlaw). Frequently, the child brides’ families chose to settle disputes informally without taking
their daughters’ abusive husbands to court for fear of losing out on the groceries and other
financial benefits. One respondent said she told her mother the problems she was having with her
older husband, but the mother ignored her because she had just been blinded by the material
things. Due to the marital problems, some of the child brides professed that they believe they
mistimed the time to get married and should have waited a bit more. Others respondents
bemoaned their lack of financial freedom after marriage as they were now wholly dependent on
the spouse. They reported that since they were getting money from someone else they could not
do simple things which they could previously could like buying things like pizza without having
to seek permission from the husband. They felt like they had surrendered their independence and
control of their lives to the husbands. Essentially, marriage was a process that de-individualised
the child brides as they became more of subjects than partners of the older husbands.
However, problems were not unique to those married early.
Many respondents complained that their marriages were blighted by spousal fighting about
finances. One particular respondent indicated that, when she and her husband got married, she
was the one who was taking care of her husband, paying for all household expenses with her
money, including paying for him to get his passport. Later on in their marriage, the husband went
to Mozambique to fetch his other clothes and personal belongings but never came back, even
when the wife fell ill and could not work in the fields anymore. Another respondent said that her
husband did not respect her and the fights over finances were so deep to the point that she and
her husband separated for months, and reconciled later after “…aripa ” when he paid
appeasement to the wife’s family. Husbands generally did not tell the wives before they got
married that they would have to quit working after marriage. Many respondents indicated that if
they had been told or asked before, they would have insisted on keeping their jobs after getting
married. In the reported cases, the husbands denied their wives the chance to work and earn some
money for the reported fear that the wives would become prostitutes. According to respondents
child brides were traumatised by their marriage experience so much that some of them often
found it better to return to their original homes even if that meant staying with abusive
stepmothers and fathers.
5.1 Religious affiliation
Available literature on child marriages is inconclusive on the role of religion in child marriages.
However, the study’s data indicates that among the study setting the Apostolic sect was the most
practiced religion among both child brides (47%) and non-child brides (67%) before marriage.
Of note as well was the 33% for both “Formal Christian” and “Alternative Christian” before
marriage for child brides.
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