“I was at home when four soldiers entered the house. They started to loot our belongings. One stayed in the house while the others went outside. He made all the children go outside. The same soldier raped me four times between nine pm and four am. My husband had been away but came home the next day. I explained to him what had happened but he said that we must separate until the results of all my tests came back.” THEME: DESPAIR FOLLOWING RAPE In the narrative descriptions of sexual assault, some women described how the rape had affected their emotional wellbeing. Sadness, misery, fear and shame were among the emotions most commonly described by sexual violence survivors. For some women, the will to live simply seemed to have been lost. “I was in the house when they suddenly broke down the door. They started to loot our livestock and clothes. Then two of them took turns raping me. Since then, I have been unwell. I am not at peace and this is why I have come for treatment.” “I was in the fields - the soldiers arrived and demanded cassava. I gave them some and they said ‘Now that we have had your cassava, we must also have you - you will be our wife’. I refused but two of them raped me violently. Since then I have had a lot of discomfort and my husband has left. It has been miserable and I have been suffering with eight children.” “I had just finished bathing and saw that military men had arrived at my house. They forced open the door and forced me into the main room. Then the rape started. I wanted to defend myself. I asked why this was happening to me. I was beat by one while the other raped me. My children cried. The soldiers forced us to be silent and threatened to kill us. I am ashamed and want to die but I also want to protect my children.” “We found them in our house. They pillaged everything. They put my husband on the bed and beat him. Then two of the soldiers raped me. This story is so tragic - I can’t believe this happened to me. I prefer death instead of life. Now, the world is without me because of my situation.” 32